Like many mothers, my mom was a source of infinite wisdom. One of my favorites was her characterization of certain actions as a “kiss and a slap”. She was entirely correct. An assortment of individuals just do not get the damage that transpires with their random assertions. Kiss and Slap offenders are often clueless.
What is a Kiss and a Slap?
The best way to explain a kiss and a slap is by providing an example. My great Aunt Jo was famous for them. She would tell you that she loved the color of your dress, but that it was entirely too tight on you. Huh? It is easy to recognize this behavior pattern. The offenders are individuals who offer wonderful compliments, followed by scathing or veiled insults. Often, the affronts are tempered with alleged concerns that they are upsetting the recipient.
Other examples of this behavior? It’s the father who tells the daughter she has a pretty face, but needs to wear more make up or dress differently. It’s the wife who compliments her husband on his prestigious job, but complains that he does not make enough money. Once again, both caution that their intent is not to hurt their loved one’s feelings. Really? They must be kidding.
Why Cover this Here?
You may wonder what all this has to do with a professional writing service. You might even suspect that I have been a victim of this behavior. (Yes, it was my beloved Aunt Jo who loved my blue dress and let me know it make me look a bit “thick.”) In some instances, a social media message or a short note may make the wrongdoer of the messages aware of their transgressions. They wondered if you were offended. Why not let them know?
Quite simply, without informing people that they have hurt your feelings, they will continue to do so. The choice is always yours to put the person on life “block” and just ignore them. It is also your option to brush off their insults. Over time, I have considered both of these as alternative ways of handling this type of situation. In the end, I find writing my thoughts out is the most effective.
The Three-Day Rule
In some cases, the “Kiss and Slap” offender recognizes the error of their ways. They may call or write with an apology. These are great without unneeded justification. (I personally do not want to hear that someone commented on my Rubenesque shape because he or she was concerned about my health.) If you fly off the handle and write what you really feel, you could become embroiled in an unnecessary confrontation. Write the letter or have me write it. Then, hold on to it for a three-day cooling period.