What My Mom Said Was the Problem with Running Away

Life can be challenging at times, and when faced with difficulties, it’s natural to want to escape from them. As an adult, I think back to the words of wisdom from the smartest woman in my life.

My mom said that the problem with running away is you take yourself with you.

Running away may seem like a viable option, whether it’s physically, mentally, or emotionally. However, no matter where you go, or how far you run, you cannot escape from the person you are and the issues you carry within yourself.

The Illusion of Escaping

Running away can take many forms. It could be physically leaving a situation or a place, such as moving to a new city or country, changing jobs, or ending a relationship.

After all, who doesn’t want to start new and create a novel persona?

Running away doesn’t necessarily have to be a physical act. It could also be mental or emotional, such as numbing ourselves with distractions like excessive work, substance abuse, or even constantly seeking external validation to fill an inner void.

In some cases, it could also manifest as avoiding responsibilities or refusing to face difficult emotions like fear, sadness, or anger.

The problem with running away is that it often creates an illusion of escape. We may believe that by changing our external circumstances, we can leave behind our problems and start fresh. However, the reality is that we carry our thoughts, emotions, and patterns of behavior with us wherever we go.

We cannot outrun ourselves. Our inner world goes with us, and the unresolved issues we leave behind tend to resurface in new ways and new places until we confront them.

The Problem with Avoidance

Running away can also prevent personal growth and development. Challenges and obstacles are part of life’s natural course, and they provide us with opportunities to learn, grow, and evolve as individuals.

When we avoid facing challenges by running away, we miss out on these valuable lessons and opportunities for self-improvement.

For example, let’s say you’re facing difficulties in a relationship, and instead of addressing the issues, you decide to run away by ending the relationship. While it may provide temporary relief, you may find yourself repeating the same patterns in future relationships until you confront the underlying issues within yourself. Similarly, avoiding a challenging project at work may offer short-term relief, but it can hinder your professional growth and development in the long run.

Facing the Unresolved

Running away from our challenges also means leaving unresolved issues behind. These unresolved issues may fester and become even more significant over time, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and emotional burden.

Avoiding confronting our challenges can result in a constant state of avoidance and denial, preventing us from finding true resolution and healing.

Moreover, running away can also affect our relationships with others. If we avoid addressing conflicts or difficult emotions in relationships, we may find ourselves repeating similar patterns in future relationships, unable to establish healthy and fulfilling connections with others. Avoiding unresolved issues can also impact our mental and emotional well-being, leading to issues like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

The Importance of Confrontation

There’s a difference between confrontation and being confrontational. The trick is understanding that the best person to confront is often the one we want to run away from – ourselves.

Confronting our inner selves can be immensely empowering and liberating.

It allows us to face our fears, address our emotions, and find solutions to our problems. Confrontation requires courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to take responsibility for our actions and choices.

Confrontation also offers an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. It allows us to learn from our mistakes, develop resilience, and gain new perspectives on life. When we confront our challenges, we can find healthier ways to cope, communicate effectively, and build meaningful connections with others.

Instead of Running Away – Try This

First, it’s okay to ask for help. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or even seek professional guidance from a therapist or counselor. Having a support system can provide you with the tools and resources to confront your challenges and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Instead of running away, focus on developing healthy coping mechanisms to deal with challenges. This could include practicing mindfulness, engaging in physical exercise, journaling, or seeking creative outlets. Healthy coping mechanisms can help you manage stress, regulate your emotions, and build resilience.

Embrace discomfort and learn to face challenges with courage and resilience. Remember that facing difficulties is an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.

Instead of running away without a plan, set realistic goals to address the issues you’re facing. Break down your challenges into smaller, manageable steps and take consistent action.

Bottom line – take care of you – face your problems head-on and be the best version of you. You’re someone special and have no reason to run away – unless you want to a short reprieve to unwind and love you yourself!