What’s the difference between a personal ad written by a writing service and one hastily put together? One word. Results. Almost a year ago, we reviewed a Match.com profile for one of our clients. For our purposes, we will refer to this gentleman as Alex. He is not the man in the photo accompanying this blog. Alex was reeling from a breakup with a woman he was involved with after the death of his wife. His solution was to look for someone else. Here’s exactly how his personal ad read at the time:
Opportunity for Excellence
Professional male looking to meet that special one to see where it may lead to down the road. Work in Financial Services and Real Estate industry. Widower for the last couple of years after 26 years of marriage, looking to find chemistry, laughter,a down to earth, classy, sexy,and loyal women. Someone who will be threre in good times and bad and not keep score. My children are grown (22, 25, and 34) but I have a 9 year old grand daughter that I cherish and spend a lot of time with. Family is very important to me, oldest of 4 from a tight knit italian family so the bigger the family the better. Anything else you would like to know just ask.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. The reason and season pieces are done, just looking to see if there is that lifetime, if it even exist.
We refrained from pointing out the grammatical/spelling errors that Alex included in his personal ad. Instead, we queried him about his results. Surprise, surprise. Alex received no hits on his profile. It was not his photograph, although we did have him update with a new one. It was his message. His headline? Opportunity for Excellence? What did that exactly mean? It reminded us of a come on for a multi-level marketing scheme.
In order to come up with a new ad, we interviewed Alex and decided to play up on his family values. We also determined a clever approach to attract attention. Here’s what we came up with:
My mom once said that I was a “good catch”. I’m no Mama’s boy, but I have to say my mom is pretty smart. Obviously, her view has some inherent bias. You’ll have to throw out some bait and see for yourself.
It’s been a couple of years since my late wife died. We were married for 26 years and I’d like to meet someone to share both good and bad times, and not keep score. I come from a close-knit Italian family and am proud of my three grown children and 9-year-old granddaughter. Holidays are particularly a blast with us, and we’re always happy to add more to our mix.
I’m a guy who hustles to make a good living in the financial industry. I’m also the man who will plan a romantic dinner or make time to weed your garden. I’ll laugh with you at silly jokes, and hold you tightly when life gives you challenges. I am as comfortable in a business suit as I am in sweats. I try to work out regularly and enjoy reading motivational books.
I’m looking for a woman who is the stereotypical librarian type. She has old-fashioned values. She’s smart. She’s sophisticated. She’s resourceful. She also knows how to let her hair down in more ways than one. She’s the one who I can’t wait to see at the end of the day.
Drop me a line and let’s take it from there.
We did keep in touch with Alex for a while. We were interested in the results he received from his revised personal ad. Apparently, the change did him well. His calendar was suddenly flooded with lunch and dinner dates. Oh, and remember his first romance after his wife’s death? That woman spotted his new personal profile. She mocked it. We guess that she sensed the improvement. Life is funny. We understand the two are back together. We would like to think our advertising scheme made Alex more attractive.
Are you using online dating companies to look for your perfect match? Consider using Writefully Inspired to author your personal ad. We will also review your profile picture and make suggestions to make you more marketable. Please call us at 908 925-0167 or write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up a confidential consultation.